Love for Love.

When talking to my Dad a few weeks ago, we determined something. Not that it hasn't been determined by anyone else before, but to us it was somewhat of an epiphany. We realized something about our human nature.
My (our) sweet dog, Pheobe Gabrielle, passed away December 28, 2011. To say she was loved is an understatement. I'd dare to say our love was one of the deepest I've ever felt. And the love between she and dad dug even deeper. If you don't know her, this may sound silly. But she was more than a dog to us. 
Pheobe was "the only sister I ever had" and "the best girl in the world" and we reminded her of these things daily, if not hourly. She was a friend, and a confidant. A singer, even.. She never told my secrets I sneakily whispered in her ears when no one was looking. She caught every tear from every heart break throughout my middle school and high school years. I miss her & I couldn't be more thankful for those times. 

 I love you baby.

 Oh the way she put up with the cats. What a doll. Marley needs lessons.

The world's greatest foot warmer.

But what Dad and I talked about was the way you can't cure heart break with new shoes. Or a chocolate craving with a banana. A popsicle would never work for a broken leg (unless you're age 5;)
After we lost Pheobe, our hearts were reaching for that same kind of love she gave us for 9 fulfilling years.. That's when Mom and Dad found Marley... (or nameless puppy for the first about 2 weeks... we couldn't agree on a name!!)

Welcome Home baby girl. Phe would've adored you & taken you in as her own

I quote: "I think she wants an iPhone" ...... -Michelle Shaul

 Mitchell & Marley Jane. They're buddies to say the least.

She spends over 50% of her time with her heels over her head.

The rest, I'd say, is history. That little stinker brings shine to our eyes & a jump in our steps (mostly Mom's as she lunges to keep potty time from happening on her oriental rugs!) We can't get enough of her.


We needed the love of a dog.. A dog like our girl. Marley hides her nose in warm spots the same way Pheobe did. She hates getting her nails clipped just like our best girl.
The other day as I goofily sang to Marley "You're the best girl in the world!" I thought, No, Pheobe is. Don't tell Marley she is... But then I knew, Pheobe's no longer in this grief stricken world. She's in Heaven. And it took a 3 year olds innocent words to remind me of that. (Thanks Knox!!)
God bless these 2 sweet girls who were placed in this crazy thing we call a family.


  I'm sorry for such a long post... but sometimes all my heart needs is a good blog post.
Thanks for reading. Really. 
Love, 

Real.

A question has arose in my mind multiple times during this unique time in my life. I am growing up, grinding through my freshman year of college, and trying to figure out who I am. As me. 
As a woman, I think it is common, almost unavoidable, to have jealousy (and lots of it!). So often I am found wanting to be like someone else... Sometimes, this is great. I love having Godly women to admire and look up to. But sometimes, it becomes irrational. I need to be me, not Jennifer Aniston. I need to workout like me, not Kelly Ripa. I need to worship God like me, not Lysa TerKeurst. 
It's a journey, thats for sure. 
A curvaceous one. 
But I'm becoming more Real. (and I love and find peace in that.)
It's a spiritual, emotional, physical, and mental thing for me
I'm beginning to see the differences in the things I truly love and yearn for and the things I do/participate in/etc because I saw someone else or anxiously flipped to the beautifully photoshopped images in Glamour while waiting in line at Kroger.

“What is REAL?" asked the Velveteen Rabbit one day... "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

                                                     "Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. 

"It's a thing that happens to you. When [someone] loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit."Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. 

"When you are Real you don't mind being hurt.""Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept."

Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand... 

once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.” 

-Margery Williams Bianco, The Velveteen Rabbit

 Has this ever felt like a struggle to you?
Thanks for hearing my heart, loving me, & watching me grow.

Time for New Leaves.

I figured out the coolest thing today! A synonym for resolution=determination. How nifty is that?! So--- here are my New Year's Determinations for 2012.


As 2011 rolls out (thankfully!) and 2012 saunters in, I resolve/aspire to do the following things: 

Spiritually

I will have a Morning Quiet Time everyday, with my phone turned off.

I will attend church at least 45 Sundays in 2012. Even in Starkville.

Physically

I will not drink carbonated beverages and have only 2 sweetened drinks/week.

I will run 4x each week in training for 1/2s in March and April & continue after.

I plan on slimming down & toning up!

Educationally

I will complete 3 full semesters/atleast 42 hours (Spring, Summer, Fall) with at least a 3.2 GPA.

I will read 12 non school related/fun books by Jan 1, 2013.

Blogally

I will write 100 posts in 2012. That means no more week long breaks for me & lots of reading for you!!

I plan to update you at the end of every month on my progress (yes, there will be progress!! every. month.) for NYResolutions!

Organizationally

THESE ARE HUGE FOR ME!!!

I will use only one purse for the entirety of 2012. Loving my Camel Coach Chelsea Carry All right now :)

&&& use only my Coach planner/agenda. (If you know me, I usually change planners about 37x/year)

Relationally

Mitchell & I are going to complete our jar slip assignments each week!

-more on my cheesyness with that later ;)

No "ifs," "ands," or "buts" about it... at least I hope!! This year will be different right?
This is it. See: Change.


New beginnings are always fun! :) And I am thankful to end this year with so many great friends (and in Pickwick) & start it with them too! See ya next year bloggers! [I am thankful for YOU too!] Here's to 2012!!