My Metaphors.

Okay ya'll, I have become so fond of driving... something about being alone, 

just me & good music 

creates the absolute perfect environment to think.

I almost passed Starkville today, just because I wanted to stay in the car!

This is McKenzie. We've been thinking together since November 2010!

 Here's what I came up with today... 

Now don't judge me (you don't even have to agree!)... 

But, I've found myself lately being a 

VCR. 

(or wanting to be)

You know, the 90s contraption that has seemed to vanish from existence? 

The one where you insert a tape & press play, stop, rewind, fast forward, even pause. 

All we see now are these new-fangled 

(is that even a word?) 

DVD players and Bluray where you insert a disc and pretty much get one choice. 

No need to rewind, it starts at the beginning every time. 

And will play until the end unless a remote intercedes. 

I am the DVD player, 

my life the DVD (already decided ahead of time), 

my God is the remote. 

He planned a life for me since before I was even a thought in the minds of these crazy two... 

(So young and in love- I don't think they knew what they were getting into)

Thanks for everything, Mom & Dad

And He has complete control over me.

Lately in my life, I haven't been content with the here & now. 

I want to fast forward to a career, a classroom, owning a house. 

Or I want to rewind to those 

stress free, 

joyous, 

jump roping days. 

Pause, well, not my button of choice. Because I rarely live in the present.

I am learning to be content with simply the DVD player, my life as a DVD, and the Lord of Lords holding the remote. He will make every move necessary, for He is good.

Oh God, show us all when to pause and be still, when to push forward for Your causes, when to stop and when to play on. Make us relinquish this control we feel we have as humans. We are nothing without You. 

Oh so thankful to be Washed By the Water. 
God is merciful, and just.


Living and learning, 

Love for Love.

When talking to my Dad a few weeks ago, we determined something. Not that it hasn't been determined by anyone else before, but to us it was somewhat of an epiphany. We realized something about our human nature.
My (our) sweet dog, Pheobe Gabrielle, passed away December 28, 2011. To say she was loved is an understatement. I'd dare to say our love was one of the deepest I've ever felt. And the love between she and dad dug even deeper. If you don't know her, this may sound silly. But she was more than a dog to us. 
Pheobe was "the only sister I ever had" and "the best girl in the world" and we reminded her of these things daily, if not hourly. She was a friend, and a confidant. A singer, even.. She never told my secrets I sneakily whispered in her ears when no one was looking. She caught every tear from every heart break throughout my middle school and high school years. I miss her & I couldn't be more thankful for those times. 

 I love you baby.

 Oh the way she put up with the cats. What a doll. Marley needs lessons.

The world's greatest foot warmer.

But what Dad and I talked about was the way you can't cure heart break with new shoes. Or a chocolate craving with a banana. A popsicle would never work for a broken leg (unless you're age 5;)
After we lost Pheobe, our hearts were reaching for that same kind of love she gave us for 9 fulfilling years.. That's when Mom and Dad found Marley... (or nameless puppy for the first about 2 weeks... we couldn't agree on a name!!)

Welcome Home baby girl. Phe would've adored you & taken you in as her own

I quote: "I think she wants an iPhone" ...... -Michelle Shaul

 Mitchell & Marley Jane. They're buddies to say the least.

She spends over 50% of her time with her heels over her head.

The rest, I'd say, is history. That little stinker brings shine to our eyes & a jump in our steps (mostly Mom's as she lunges to keep potty time from happening on her oriental rugs!) We can't get enough of her.


We needed the love of a dog.. A dog like our girl. Marley hides her nose in warm spots the same way Pheobe did. She hates getting her nails clipped just like our best girl.
The other day as I goofily sang to Marley "You're the best girl in the world!" I thought, No, Pheobe is. Don't tell Marley she is... But then I knew, Pheobe's no longer in this grief stricken world. She's in Heaven. And it took a 3 year olds innocent words to remind me of that. (Thanks Knox!!)
God bless these 2 sweet girls who were placed in this crazy thing we call a family.


  I'm sorry for such a long post... but sometimes all my heart needs is a good blog post.
Thanks for reading. Really. 
Love, 

Real.

A question has arose in my mind multiple times during this unique time in my life. I am growing up, grinding through my freshman year of college, and trying to figure out who I am. As me. 
As a woman, I think it is common, almost unavoidable, to have jealousy (and lots of it!). So often I am found wanting to be like someone else... Sometimes, this is great. I love having Godly women to admire and look up to. But sometimes, it becomes irrational. I need to be me, not Jennifer Aniston. I need to workout like me, not Kelly Ripa. I need to worship God like me, not Lysa TerKeurst. 
It's a journey, thats for sure. 
A curvaceous one. 
But I'm becoming more Real. (and I love and find peace in that.)
It's a spiritual, emotional, physical, and mental thing for me
I'm beginning to see the differences in the things I truly love and yearn for and the things I do/participate in/etc because I saw someone else or anxiously flipped to the beautifully photoshopped images in Glamour while waiting in line at Kroger.

“What is REAL?" asked the Velveteen Rabbit one day... "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

                                                     "Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. 

"It's a thing that happens to you. When [someone] loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit."Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. 

"When you are Real you don't mind being hurt.""Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept."

Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand... 

once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.” 

-Margery Williams Bianco, The Velveteen Rabbit

 Has this ever felt like a struggle to you?
Thanks for hearing my heart, loving me, & watching me grow.

Beauty Evolving.

Beauty (and our view of it) is constantly morphing...
Sometimes this makes me thankful, and other times.... not so much.


One day, Facebook goes from being covered with comments such as "Time to starve while watching the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show" to the next day being covered in YouTube videos inspiring women to be/men to wait for "Proverbs 31 Women."
But it can go from good to bad, too.


This is a trap I, and the majority of other women, get caught in day after day. What is true beauty? We all want to look good on the outside, but that first takes a lot of work on the inside. I hope we remember on the days we feel not so Victorias Secret-esqe that the Lord of Lords himself is in awe of our beauty.

A sweet woman in my life, Mrs. Brenda, gave me the following to share with all of you.

Beauty Tips:

By Sam Levenson

For attractive lips, 

Speak words of kindness

For lovely eyes, 

Seek out the good in people 

For a slim figure, 

Share your food with the hungry

For beautiful hair,

Let a child run his fingers through it once a day

For poise, 

Walk with the knowledge you will never walk alone

As we enter into this new year full of new resolutions (or just old, failed resolutions that will definitely not fail this year;)), let's keep a positive focus. Would focusing on being a Proverbs 31 woman above all else bring us closer to the beautiful woman we want to see on the outside? I think just maybe. 

P.S. Here's a quote I read on a friend's website that really got me thinking:

"Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does the better."  

-Andre Gide

I've got to remember to slow down. Embrace each moment. It is another year, whether the resolutions fail or not. 


Praying for each of you in 2012,