My Metaphors.

Okay ya'll, I have become so fond of driving... something about being alone, 

just me & good music 

creates the absolute perfect environment to think.

I almost passed Starkville today, just because I wanted to stay in the car!

This is McKenzie. We've been thinking together since November 2010!

 Here's what I came up with today... 

Now don't judge me (you don't even have to agree!)... 

But, I've found myself lately being a 

VCR. 

(or wanting to be)

You know, the 90s contraption that has seemed to vanish from existence? 

The one where you insert a tape & press play, stop, rewind, fast forward, even pause. 

All we see now are these new-fangled 

(is that even a word?) 

DVD players and Bluray where you insert a disc and pretty much get one choice. 

No need to rewind, it starts at the beginning every time. 

And will play until the end unless a remote intercedes. 

I am the DVD player, 

my life the DVD (already decided ahead of time), 

my God is the remote. 

He planned a life for me since before I was even a thought in the minds of these crazy two... 

(So young and in love- I don't think they knew what they were getting into)

Thanks for everything, Mom & Dad

And He has complete control over me.

Lately in my life, I haven't been content with the here & now. 

I want to fast forward to a career, a classroom, owning a house. 

Or I want to rewind to those 

stress free, 

joyous, 

jump roping days. 

Pause, well, not my button of choice. Because I rarely live in the present.

I am learning to be content with simply the DVD player, my life as a DVD, and the Lord of Lords holding the remote. He will make every move necessary, for He is good.

Oh God, show us all when to pause and be still, when to push forward for Your causes, when to stop and when to play on. Make us relinquish this control we feel we have as humans. We are nothing without You. 

Oh so thankful to be Washed By the Water. 
God is merciful, and just.


Living and learning, 

Winning.

I am a totally competitive person. And a sore loser. I can hardly get through a game of powder puff football without shooting flames out of my ears...
And as I have told ya'll before, Mitchell and I started a competition to see who can change their weight the most by Spring Break. That was weeks, and weeks, and weeks ago. Yet, still, for me, nothing. I did lose about 5 lbs... but it feels like I've already gained that back!!
I have really just not been very motivated lately. 
This is how our set up "deadline" has approached so quickly.
With our weigh-in in 23 days, I need you to keep me accountable. By posting my measurements/weight/food choices etc for the World Wide Web to see, I hope I can find that "kick in the butt" I need to beat Mitchell on March 9th!!

Here are my current stats:
Height: 5’6"
Highest weight: 149 - December 2011
Current weight: approximately 147

Waist	27.5- 2/11/12
Hips	37.75- 2/11/12
Thigh	23- 2/11/12
Upper R arm	11- 2/11/12
Body Fat %	24.6- 2/11/12

I measure every 4 weeks and will continue this over the entire journey to Spring Break and 
continue past that to see more progress!


And here are my goals:
1st Weight Goal: 144
2nd Wt Goal: 140
3rd Wt Goal: 136
Real/Final Wt Goal to maintain: 133 (hopefully by 4/21/12- my birthday!)

Waist	25
Hips	36
Thigh	20-21
Body Fat %	under 20%

So, what's the plan?
Nutrition
1200-1550 calories
135-252 carbs
27-60 fat
60-136 protein
High days, obviously, will happen. But I plan to limit these (2 or less a week!).


I am going to track all intake on Spark People, a free website that has everything you need to track, measure, and reach your goals!! Then report back right here.


Cardio
Lately, I haven't been as into it as I used to. Without a usual routine, I feel like I am starting from scratch in a sense. I used to adore running, but lately walking has seemed more natural and appeasing to me! I really like the treadmill at a 4 mph pace and changing the incline frequently (with the latest episode of Army Wives streaming from Netflix ;) So I am going to do whatever I can talk myself into 6 days a week for at least 45 minutes! I may even get back into some group classes- they have always been fun for me and try breaking it up, some am and some pm depending on my schedule!


Strength Training
I try to lift 4x/week and right now I am following workouts Mitchell created for me. I haven't been able to get excited about the usual Day 1, chest and "tris" - Day 2, back and bis- Day 3, legs and cardio- blah blah blah... so M made quicker routines where I do light work on each area everyday yet still get complete workouts in a week. I'll share these later if ya'll are interested!


I plan to keep constantly reading different blogs, like two of my favorites:
Can You Stay for Dinner?
Fitting Back In
These pretty ladies keep me motivated to keep working toward my goals!!


Thanks for trudging through this. I'll be back with silly stories and cheesy quotes soon-

Love for Love.

When talking to my Dad a few weeks ago, we determined something. Not that it hasn't been determined by anyone else before, but to us it was somewhat of an epiphany. We realized something about our human nature.
My (our) sweet dog, Pheobe Gabrielle, passed away December 28, 2011. To say she was loved is an understatement. I'd dare to say our love was one of the deepest I've ever felt. And the love between she and dad dug even deeper. If you don't know her, this may sound silly. But she was more than a dog to us. 
Pheobe was "the only sister I ever had" and "the best girl in the world" and we reminded her of these things daily, if not hourly. She was a friend, and a confidant. A singer, even.. She never told my secrets I sneakily whispered in her ears when no one was looking. She caught every tear from every heart break throughout my middle school and high school years. I miss her & I couldn't be more thankful for those times. 

 I love you baby.

 Oh the way she put up with the cats. What a doll. Marley needs lessons.

The world's greatest foot warmer.

But what Dad and I talked about was the way you can't cure heart break with new shoes. Or a chocolate craving with a banana. A popsicle would never work for a broken leg (unless you're age 5;)
After we lost Pheobe, our hearts were reaching for that same kind of love she gave us for 9 fulfilling years.. That's when Mom and Dad found Marley... (or nameless puppy for the first about 2 weeks... we couldn't agree on a name!!)

Welcome Home baby girl. Phe would've adored you & taken you in as her own

I quote: "I think she wants an iPhone" ...... -Michelle Shaul

 Mitchell & Marley Jane. They're buddies to say the least.

She spends over 50% of her time with her heels over her head.

The rest, I'd say, is history. That little stinker brings shine to our eyes & a jump in our steps (mostly Mom's as she lunges to keep potty time from happening on her oriental rugs!) We can't get enough of her.


We needed the love of a dog.. A dog like our girl. Marley hides her nose in warm spots the same way Pheobe did. She hates getting her nails clipped just like our best girl.
The other day as I goofily sang to Marley "You're the best girl in the world!" I thought, No, Pheobe is. Don't tell Marley she is... But then I knew, Pheobe's no longer in this grief stricken world. She's in Heaven. And it took a 3 year olds innocent words to remind me of that. (Thanks Knox!!)
God bless these 2 sweet girls who were placed in this crazy thing we call a family.


  I'm sorry for such a long post... but sometimes all my heart needs is a good blog post.
Thanks for reading. Really. 
Love, 

Real.

A question has arose in my mind multiple times during this unique time in my life. I am growing up, grinding through my freshman year of college, and trying to figure out who I am. As me. 
As a woman, I think it is common, almost unavoidable, to have jealousy (and lots of it!). So often I am found wanting to be like someone else... Sometimes, this is great. I love having Godly women to admire and look up to. But sometimes, it becomes irrational. I need to be me, not Jennifer Aniston. I need to workout like me, not Kelly Ripa. I need to worship God like me, not Lysa TerKeurst. 
It's a journey, thats for sure. 
A curvaceous one. 
But I'm becoming more Real. (and I love and find peace in that.)
It's a spiritual, emotional, physical, and mental thing for me
I'm beginning to see the differences in the things I truly love and yearn for and the things I do/participate in/etc because I saw someone else or anxiously flipped to the beautifully photoshopped images in Glamour while waiting in line at Kroger.

“What is REAL?" asked the Velveteen Rabbit one day... "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

                                                     "Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. 

"It's a thing that happens to you. When [someone] loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit."Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. 

"When you are Real you don't mind being hurt.""Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept."

Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand... 

once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.” 

-Margery Williams Bianco, The Velveteen Rabbit

 Has this ever felt like a struggle to you?
Thanks for hearing my heart, loving me, & watching me grow.

Month One of 2012!

As promised, here is the first of 12 monthly updates on my New Years Resolutions.. I hope this makes me stick to them!! I counted 12 resolutions which means as long as I tackle one a month I'll be perfect by next New Years, right?! IF ONLY...!

Spiritually

I will have a Morning Quiet Time everyday. Only missed a couple so far!! Hallelujah. Over 50% of my mornings start in this way.. getting better- This has been sweet time with me and God... and I should really increase the time I spend with Him. I am selfish. Really enjoying "Jesus Calling," "Streams in the Desert," and "Made to Crave: 60 days of devotion." As you can see, I like to switch it up.

I will attend church at least 45 Sundays in 2012. Although I was in Pickwick, TN on the 1st of January, the 8th I attended Grace with the fam and the 15th Covenant with Mitchell & his family! The 21st involved PineLake Starkville- which I adoreeee! (and recommend to all MSU students) - Truly speak the Word in a contemporary setting. & the 29th, Grace again- pretty successful so far.. what am I at, 5?

Physically

I will not drink sodas and have only 2 sweet drinks/week. So excited about this!! Makes me feel so much better. & 3 solid weeks means it is officially a  habit!! :) I have had a few to many sweet teas- because, frankly, who can resist?? but not a drip (or should I say bubble??) of carbonation!

I'm sorry, I miss you too. I know its hard, but this may be best.

I will run 4x each week in training for 1/2 in April & continue after. Not quite there yet- starting hard core training February 5th (golly, is that 6 days away?!!!) But.... I have run a few times, worked out with Amy (Missfit Trainer), hit the Sanderson on multiple occasions, incorporated many 75 minute gloriously relaxing walks into my days, & lifted a lot with Mitchell! Better than lazy nothingness!
-Not a resolution, but a goal of mine is to exercise 6,300 minutes in 2012 (amounts to 20 min a day) and I am thankful I have managed to stay on track with that!

I plan on slimming down & toning up! I have lost almost 5 lbs.. excited to see more progress! All this thanks to a little friendly competition between M & I. Whoever changes their weight (M wanting to gain/Me wanting to lose) the most by March 9 aka. Spring Break.. wins!! Annnd winner gets to choose outfits for our photo shoot we received as a Christmas gift. (Thanks Val and John!!) Tune in March 9 to watch me win :) If you're lucky, and M agrees, we may even weigh in on a video update!!

Educationally

I will complete 3 full semesters/atleast 42 hours (Spring, Summer, Fall) with at least a 3.2 GPA. Currently enrolled and doing better than last semester- yay!! Also, was accepted as an ambassador for Note Hall, a company that helps students excel in college, check it out!!

I will read 12 non school related/fun books by Jan 1, 2013. Does skimming count? ... thinking I will catch up on this while by the pool this summer! I never stop long enough to read more than one sentence over, and over, and over. 

Blogally

I will write 100 posts in 2012- That means no more week long breaks for me & lots of reading for you!!  6 posts down, this is #7 (and 8 is in the works!!). 

I plan to update you at the end of every month on my progress for NYResolutions! Check ;)

Organizationally

I will use only one purse for the entirety of 2012. STILL Loving my Camel Coach Chelsea Carry All :) Although I am on the hunt for a new wallet!!

&&& use only my Coach planner/agenda. Going smoothly!! Organized as ever although starting to get kinda scribbly!! Must focus on cleanliness.

Relationally

Mitchell & I are going to complete our jar slip assignments each week! Two down!! We had a Papa Johns/Movie Night for Mitchell the weekend before I headed back to Starkvegas. & say Joyful Noise (starring Queen Latifah & Dolly Parton) and raided Walgreens for candy pre-movie...! Don't tell that we took 6 boxes in my purse :P 

Really excited for a special date to Grisanti's this Friday and Valentines Day in 15!! One of my favorite holidays.. If you care to hear the 2011 story, I'd say its a good one. Check back February 14!! Lets just say we were best friends, not dating, I received roses, he got one of his faves, and he won the competition ;)

Are you keeping up with your resolutions? I hope so!!

Lots on the mind... First Video Ever!!

Time for New Leaves.

I figured out the coolest thing today! A synonym for resolution=determination. How nifty is that?! So--- here are my New Year's Determinations for 2012.


As 2011 rolls out (thankfully!) and 2012 saunters in, I resolve/aspire to do the following things: 

Spiritually

I will have a Morning Quiet Time everyday, with my phone turned off.

I will attend church at least 45 Sundays in 2012. Even in Starkville.

Physically

I will not drink carbonated beverages and have only 2 sweetened drinks/week.

I will run 4x each week in training for 1/2s in March and April & continue after.

I plan on slimming down & toning up!

Educationally

I will complete 3 full semesters/atleast 42 hours (Spring, Summer, Fall) with at least a 3.2 GPA.

I will read 12 non school related/fun books by Jan 1, 2013.

Blogally

I will write 100 posts in 2012. That means no more week long breaks for me & lots of reading for you!!

I plan to update you at the end of every month on my progress (yes, there will be progress!! every. month.) for NYResolutions!

Organizationally

THESE ARE HUGE FOR ME!!!

I will use only one purse for the entirety of 2012. Loving my Camel Coach Chelsea Carry All right now :)

&&& use only my Coach planner/agenda. (If you know me, I usually change planners about 37x/year)

Relationally

Mitchell & I are going to complete our jar slip assignments each week!

-more on my cheesyness with that later ;)

No "ifs," "ands," or "buts" about it... at least I hope!! This year will be different right?
This is it. See: Change.


New beginnings are always fun! :) And I am thankful to end this year with so many great friends (and in Pickwick) & start it with them too! See ya next year bloggers! [I am thankful for YOU too!] Here's to 2012!! 

Change.

For salvation, we must change our mind and agree that God’s way is better than our way. 


 “And be not conformed to this world: but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Romans 12:2



Changes happen when we least expect them. Changes happen when we do not welcome them. Changes usually do not happen when we try to make them.


Let me explain... 
Mitchell and I always laugh at the phrase "This Is It." You know... like Michael Jackson's hit movie? Only kidding. This is it is what people say when they try to create change. This is the last time I will bite my nails. This is the last time I will overeat. This is the year I will lose 20 lbs. This is my new life. I can't tell you how many times I've made promises like this to myself. Graduation was it. Summer was it. College was it. I thought...
More than likely, these changes don't happen. God is in control. Not us. 


We try, over and over again to change yet fail; However, when we least want to change, it ends up happening.


My absolute best girl friends and I (who I love so dearly) in high school, always said "We are the ones who won't separate. We are the ones with friendships that will survive the college years." We didn't want a thing to change. You know what comes next... they did. We all have such different lives. Brand new, exciting schools, fun friends, sisters we never had, busy schedules ... all of it.
Luckily, some parts of us will never change. We each hold close to our hearts the days spent together doing nothing, our FL spring break, Bachelor every Monday night, the drama, the fun, and the close relationship. If we could do it again, I bet we wouldn't change a thing.

A friend loves at all times 

[whether our lives have changed or not]

Proverbs 17:17

It is hard, so so hard. Even heart breaking to watch your life change before you. Change does it's own thing. It is the rebellious child. It does what it wants no matter what you say to try and make it stop.


Despite all of this change, I am thankful.  Not because of what it has and is causing, but thankful that God's plan is showing in each of our lives.

Mitchell and I on Thanksgiving Day

He had these plans from before we were even thought of. And that brings me peace, and thanks. Be still, and know.


P.S. On Thanksgiving, I was excited to be reminded of how much life changes by this picture of Mrs. Jere Lee, Mitchells' grandmother, and my sister in Phi Mu. 

Grandmom, Phi Mu @ Memphis State